today, it happened again.
one of those moments; a dead baby moment. a moment where i feel like a freak, not because my baby died, but because i'm the only one that can laugh about it.
(i know, right?)
we were at my sister's house, planning my nephew's 1st birthday party.
(we should have been planning for paige's 2nd at the same time, their birthdays only 8 days apart.)
elle, who was sitting on my sister's lap, threw her head back and said, "I DIED! I'M DEAD!"
(why is it always elle?)
i sat on the other side of the table and just responsively played in. "OHHHH NOOOO! MY BABY IS DEAD!"
when i realized what i said, i said, "AGAIN!"
and then started laughing hysterically.
my two sisters and brother-in-law sat there with their widest eyes. they had no idea what to say or do, which made me laugh even harder. i didn't know what to say either. all i could really think at that moment was
THIS IS MY FUCKING LIFE.
and i was ok with it.
about
- charmedgirl
- after 4 years of infertility, IVF, and a high-risk yet successful triplet pregnancy, we thought one baby girl created the old-fashioned way would be a piece of cake; that's not what happened. we miss you paige...stillborn at 40 weeks on her due date, 9.9.07.
so far...
or so we thought...
- a little pregnant
- a mending heart?
- afterwards
- anarchist mom
- antigone lost
- awful but functioning
- broken heart diaries
- dead baby jokes
- diary of a domestic diva
- i won't fear love
- it's a strange world
- letters to the babies that lived
- losses and gains
- mi isla sola
- missing micah
- my new reality
- my resurfacing
- oh well
- paw prints
- postsecret
- quiet sanctuary
- SAHM of 3
- the para.graph
- this is not what i had planned
- yummy sushi pajamas
9 comments:
The whole dead baby humor thing... we're the only ones who can get away with it, kwim? (Aside from 3rd graders telling dead baby jokes, I guess... ) :)
God, it's so true. Only we could laugh at that. Again. And again. And again.
sometimes I have to keep my lips zipped becoz I'm afraid of what would come out of my mouth...
so true...we are the only ones who "get" jokes like that...
i hate feeling like i'm scaring other people by just being me.
Not being a member of the Dead Baby Mommy Society I can't say I have first-hand understanding but I totally get why that was funny.
All you can do is laugh at how absurd it all is.
I am glad you are ok.
sometimes i am surprised by what i say or my own reaction to things. dbm humor. not ready for standup.
I'm with Janis. since I'm a cynical snark-ass to begin with, when discussion starts veering in this direction it's all I can do not to whip out my own personal funny. Which is obviously only hilarious to me. And maybe you.
sometime we all need to get together for a drink, me thinks.
Oh, twisted dead baby humor. I guess we would be mad if other people did laugh, but it's annoying when people just look at you like you're crazy. We can't be crying all of the time!
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