the week my baby girl was born dead was not the worst. i mean, it WAS the worst week of my life. but in terms of my dealing, there are worse moments NOW.
as things get more difficult, other people get weirder. do they think i should be moving on already? it's only been a month. but i guess if YOU didn't get your almost 10lb baby girl torn from your womb without a cry, without a gaze........i guess it's all in the past for all of them.
when they ask me how i am with *the look*, i say FINE or OK.
will i be a liar for the rest of my life?
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2 comments:
Hi! I discovered your blog through the babyloss directory and hope you don't mind that I am leaving a comment here. First of all, I want you to know that I can truly relate to your situation as I also lost a full term baby girl in September of 2006. After a year, I am much further along in my grief than you are, but wanted you to know that things do get better. It will never be the same and we will never get over it, but life has a funny way of forcing us to go on, whether we want to or not. I think it is wonderful that you have created this blog to help you on your journey through grief and loss. I didnt start mine until I was further along in my grief, so it doesnt share the harsh reality of those first several months, but if it did, you would see that everything you are thinking and feeling is quite normal. I am so sorry you have had to join this club that none of us want to be a part of.
Many hugs to you!
I found your blog through the baby loss directory, too. We lost one of our twins, at 38 weeks. In May.
I got tired of lying to everyone, so now I just say, "We're hanging in there!" Which doesn't mean anything.
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