i am just not in the writing (read: feeling) mood.
the break-up with my mother is sticking, soulmate friend is probably going into labor tonight, therapy is bringing up a whole bunch of shit. husband is sick of my snapping. i am sick of being snapped at (not by husband, but by three little hitlers who think i'm their own personal cinderella). i am sick of feeling like i shouldn't say they're shits because i have a dead baby.
i'm doing a piss-poor job of commenting on your blogs, but i want to say that i love you. does that just absolutely sound like a girl who's lost her mind or what?! i've thought about it, and it's true. i love you. and thank you for writing all your mind and heart and tear jerking posts. i just can't always get myself to respond in type...mostly in fear of spitting, if you know what i mean.
if anything is getting me through this week, it's you.
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9 comments:
I feel like there is an ebb and flow to our little blog community and that's ok. We all take our turns being up and down. Thank you for this post.
thinking of you- hoping next weeks gets a little easier....
Love you back Charmedgirl...and I generally dislike most people. Consider yourself extra special. And if we're counting who *might* have lost their minds? Count me in!
The only place I have found any comfort at all is in blogger land. There are very few books that really touch the painful and emotional side of stillbirth and that really disappoints me. I come here to read. I come here to vent. I come here to listen. I come here to feel better. It's the only place I know right now that can make me feel okay. I don't know what I would have done had I not found you guys. I really don't.
Don't feel badly if you're not commenting right now. I feel infinitely better just knowing you are here, knowing you understand. You completely do and that is all I need.
I hope next week is a better one for you. And if it's not, we'll understand.
Hugs, charmedgirl. Hugs. Hugs. Hugs.
That's what us bloggers are for, keeping each other on track, especially when you aren't up to commenting on other blogs. We all go through those phases, and lots of times without having such a good excuse.
Take your time. We'll all still be here, and love you, when you feel like writing again.
Ditto!!!
Big hugs
C x xx
You know, it's okay to be pissed at the little shits, my husband and I feel that way all the time. It's just how it is.
i'm complicated mama's friend (charlotte at dosmamas.wordpress.com). just wanted to chime in with a "fucking good for you" for telling your mom off. my best friend no longer speaks to her narcissistic mom, and although it has been painful and shitty through the years, she is so much better off. SO MUCH. narcissists don't get better. ever. even with therapy. well, i'm sure there are some exceptions, but not many. oh, and kids still suck (sometimes)...you should never have to "be grateful" when you're pissed, even if you had a giant deadbabydisaster. that doesn't take away your right to bitch.
Just wanted to stop by and say Hi and I hope you're doing OK.
Feel free to come spit whenever you're ready :o)
C x x
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